Impious entertainment. Blah.

 

classical

Lady Camille Tow’s Playlist: Classical

Some favorites in the classical genre

2007_03_28_dt_after_jsc

Trump and Rosie, Get a Room Already

Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. You can cut the sexual tension with a knife…so get a room already. Seriously. These two yammering attention whores just can’t stop talking about themselves. I mean, these are soul mates if ever I saw any. First she dissed the Miss America pageant under Donald … Continue reading →

Before Ann Coulter Conquered Twitter, She Conquered Facebook

Before Ann Coulter Conquered Twitter, She Conquered Facebook

Tortured with Christina Aguilera Music

“Anything  too stupid to be said is sung.” Voltaire.  Finally, official confirmation from someone other than music critics: Christina Aguilera’s music isn’t just dog shit, it’s actual torture inhuman enough for suspected terrorists. “After the new measures are approved, the mood in al-Qahtani’s interrogation booth changes dramatically. The interrogation sessions lengthen…when Detainee 063 dozes off, … Continue reading →

The Society for the Appreciation of Bitch Slappin’ the Mimes

A satisfied customer (not pictured). The Impious Digest hires only the best and strongest pimps to administer the bitch slappin’ we give to mimes across the nation. But it’s not cheap. Ice packs (for bruised knuckles), travel expenses, bail money and legal fees are just part of the expenses incurred in our efforts to make … Continue reading →

Epic Rap Battles of History

Separated at Birth

Earlier today it was reported there was a study that Barack Obama and Brad Pitt were cousins, and that Angelina Jolie and Hillary Clinton were distantly related also. Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, according to the genealogist with enough spare time on his hand … Continue reading →

Robert Pattinson’s Unibrow Walks Off Set

LOS ANGELES, ID: Robert Pattinson from “Twilight” had no comment after his unibrow walked off the set in a bitter contract dispute with producers refusing to recognize it as autonomous and sentient. Presently filming his new teen romance “Smell My Finger, Dudes”, Robert had little to say except he can’t resume filming until he stops … Continue reading →

Sandra Bullock is Stalking Me

Sandra Bullock is Stalking Me. Adventures with the editor’s ex.

Miley Cyrus is Creeping Me the Fuck Out

You know the whole scandal about Miley Cyrus’ twerking at the Video Music Awards wasn’t even about her, at least not as far as I’m concerned. Sure, she’s creepy and she’s so lost in the Hollywood abyss of sexual depravity she thinks fetishes like furries, that is people dressing up like furry animals to have … Continue reading →

Chris Elliot’s “Thwacker”

I had only read the first chapter, which the author refers to as “Chapter the First”, before I was wondering aloud if it was the funniest book ever written.This chapter alone was even funnier than Real Ultimate Power, by Robert Hamburger (an ode to a young teen’s masturbation unto all things Ninja). That’s no small … Continue reading →

The Horror: Celine Dion Sings “You Shook Me All Night Long”

  Celine Dion sings “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC. This… This is just wrong. This is so wrong.

Donnie Hoyle is Back!

For more on the creators of You Suck at Photoshop, check out their profile in Time magazine. Also, after five long years, Donnie Hoyle is back! Check out the 2012 season episodes.   Please Don’t View Donnie Hoyle’s Secret Thu– I mean it. Donnie Hoyle from “You Suck at Photoshop“* has enough on his plate without you … Continue reading →

The Strange Curse of the Beast, Aleister Crowley

All three bodies were burned beyond recognition, and were identified by dental records. It was later revealed in an autopsy that the pilot, Andrew Aycock, showed traces of cocaine in his system at the time; Randy Rhoads’ toxicology test revealed only nicotine. Continue reading →

William Shatner’s Crimes Against Humanity

Now if you look closely, you can see Bernie Taupin forcing back the tears as he introduces the man who will butcher the classic. If after watching this video you are still not convinced a special UN tribunal for Shatner’s crimes against humanity is warranted, then listen to William Shatner’s rendition of The Beatle’s Lucy … Continue reading →

An Interview with Trey, or Robert Hamburger

Robert Hamburger or Trey Hamburger? With the release of Ghosts/Aliens, the long awaited second work from the creator of Real Ultimate Power, many fans wondered if he could do the seemingly impossible: produce an even funnier book.These fans should be comforted in the fact it is just as funny or funnier than the first book. … Continue reading →

If FOX News Spun Jesus of Nazareth…

Anyone who has actually read the bible, and then sat down and watched the right-wing media on any given day, would quickly be struck by a contrast of separate ideologies, polar opposites in fact: one is based on love and hope, the other hate and fear. But was Jesus hateful at all, as the media implies? … Continue reading →

The Ultimate Psychic Battle

The Ultimate Psychic Battle

Please support Trey’s efforts against ghosts/aliens in the Ultimate Psychic Battle by digging him.

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.

7 Subliminal Hit Film Sponsors

If you’re sick of seeing product placement in movies and television, you’re about to get sicker. Now you’ll have a mental association of a brand based on a film title alone. You wont have to see a film to visualize a product. Don’t believe it? Behold…

If FOX News Existed Throughout History

To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, the most honest part of a newspaper is its advertisements. He also said “I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.” And who can blame him, if Rupert Murdoch, the owner of FOX News, was printing his first pro-Tory tabloid rags way back … Continue reading→

Prison Break’s Funniest Moment

Unintentionally Funniest Moment in Television: Veronica Donovan, Imbecile Defense Lawyer, Gets her Fool Ass Shot. I love this show, don’t get me wrong. In fact it’s in my top five. So when you have a show where all the characters are three-dimensional and easily draw a viewer into the plot, throwing in a predictable cartoon … Continue reading →

Bat Fight with Will Ferrell

Bat fight. With a baseball bat. It’s a game of honor and diplomacy…. This and a few other “Funny or Die” video gems from the inimitable Will Ferrell, including “Green Team”, “Will Ferrell Answers Internet Questions”, and the unedited version of “Boats and Hoes” from the film “Stepbrothers”. When using the embedded player, use bottom … Continue reading →

Neil Diamond – Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon 1967

Neil Diamond – Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon 1967

Actual Elephant Art vs. Jackson Pollack

An elephant paints a self portrait and stuns everyone in sight. Not only is it well done, it would please an art critic. The picture blows away any ever done by chimps, the typical human child or Jackson Pollack. It also shows a keen observation of dimension and perspective lacking in middle age tapestries and … Continue reading →

Norm McDonald’s Fatal Attraction

  A day in the life of an ex-SNL cast member Shakespeare once wrote somewhere “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” But he’s never met Norm MacDonald. The Impious Digest’s star reporter Joe Mahma pays Norm McDonald a visit to file this special report. The show wasn’t taping and he was in a … Continue reading →

In Defense of Apocalypto

Jaguar Paw Runs from Anal Retentive Critics 5 out of 5 Rolls   It’s not like there’s a scene where Jaguar Paw’s screen presence is overshadowed by the anachronous Ipod on his arm. You can’t have it both ways. if you want accuracy, a documentary would have been a better vehicle. If you want entertainment, … Continue reading →

Telezombies: the Remote Eating of Brains

How Telezombies Eat As the frontal lobe disintegrates into subatomic particles which shoot back into space, antennae in Rosie’s jowls and back hair channel this radiation from the microwaved brains of millions back into her digestive tract. Seen here without make-up or special effects in her true zombie form, Rosie reads alongside what is left … Continue reading →

spears_fester120

Britney to Star in “Adams Family” Musical

(ID) NEW YORK- Playing the role of the lovable Uncle Fester, Britney Spears is set to star in an off-Broadway musical version of the popular sixties sit-com “The Adams Family,” publicists announced today. Though the part of Uncle Fester called for a male lead, Spears won the coveted part when she reminded producers she could … Continue reading →

Did Glenn Beck Rape and Kill a Young Girl in 1990?

Tired of Beck’s idiotic, leading questions and wild allegations whose answer he knows full well is no, the favor was returned. This time the question was did Glen Beck rape and kill a young girl in 1990? The question of a domain name, DidGlennBeckRapeandKillaYoungGirlin1990.com,  and the controversy surrounding it. Link here for more. From the … Continue reading →

Lady Camille Tow’s Playlist: J.S. Bach

Some favorites in the classical genre: J.S. Bach”s Brandenburg Concertos, some cantatas. Mostly.