911 Reasons Rudy is an Asshole

February 26, 2013 Independent Press 0

“Hang on… my wife is calling…” Six seconds into the video, the moment he announces the call is from his wife, the cell phone is still in his pocket. Yet he makes the psychic announcement it’s her before looking down at his pocket or cell display. The call was staged, just as it was at previous rallies when the same thing happened, apparently to soften his image from a fascist, biped pig to a fascist, caring biped pig. Later in the NRA speech he uses his wife Judith to allude to 9-11, yet again:

The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Confucious

February 26, 2013 Independent Press 0

Confucius was born and buried in the state of Lu. As a boy, This incarnation of Yang liked to set up sacrificial vessels and ejaculate into them. At the age of nineteen he married, and that night he pulled out the jars of his preserved semen since boyhood, and filmed the worlds first Bukkake porn. Unfortunately his wife almost drowned. At nineteen he entered the service of a noble family as superintendent of bitches and hos.

The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Charlemagne

February 26, 2013 Independent Press 0

His empire did not long survive his death due to the hideous mongoloids and schizophrenics his seed had caused to be birthed during his lifetime. Yangil Kim ended this life in bed, cackling madly about the joke he had played on future generations, for he had sown the seeds for the most ignorant and rude society on earth, and set the breeding ground for his return in the other

The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Buddha

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

The insincere priests traded on religion and only paid lip service to the now mythical Yangil Kim. They were quite irreligious. In the name of religion, people followed in the footsteps of the cruel priests and performed meaningless rituals, while not offering their virgin daughters and sexy livestock to Yang. They killed innocent dumb animals without plundering them in a sexual manner and did various sacrifices in the name of Love.

News Management, Yang’s Cribnotes

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

The Mass Media are all businesses that need to satisfy their audiences, advertisers, and governments to further their goal, namely, making money. By breaking news items into small sound bites that the average person can sit through and by favoring news stories that cater to their audience’s prejudices and interests, Mass Media caters to an audience with little attention span and a desire to have information fed to them, rather than try to understand it themselves.

A Psychological and Artistic Profile of Piet Mondrian

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

Mondrian originally wanted to have his painting completely in gray tones, but could not totally contain his flamboyance, hence the dash of color here and there. Aside from his motives for painting in his neoplastic style, his work says a few things own its own. I have not seen this caliber of work since overseeing a kindergarten class pasting paper shapes to the bulletin board.

Duck, Duck Goose

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

The willingness of people in general to allow some individuals to fall through the cracks of societal acceptance in order to elevate their own position in the “grand scheme of things” Amazes me at times. Don’t get me wrong; I am no innocent to the game of “make pariah of the scapegoat”. But perhaps by cataloging the rough treatment of an individual I’ve known, I can seek a modest redemption by bringing similar memories I suspect we all possess to the surface once more. You may not have had such an extreme example of such treatment in your particular frame of reference, but who knows, maybe if we didn’t make the choices we’ve made in life, we could have ended up in worse shape then we are currently in.

The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Grigory Rasputin

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

Rasputin, born in the Tyumen district of Siberia, a shadowy and mysterious character; a person of contradictory personality traits and equally enigmatic sexual preferences. Was he a miracle worker or just a crafty manipulator or was he something darker, like a transsexual house pet molester? While he was alive, was one of the more obvious Yang incarnations.

The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Caligula

February 25, 2013 Independent Press 0

Suspected Incarnation of the Most High One, Yangil Kim (12-41), Roman emperor (37-41), born probably in Antium. His early life in military camps earned him the nickname “Caligula” (Latin, “Little Boot”, or in vulgar argot, “Rubber Anus”) because of his sexual habits.

Wild Life Awareness Month: The Praying Mantis

February 24, 2013 Independent Press 0

Mantodea Madonnicus: Unusually hairy and loud, this species is considered a pest by many, but can sing and dance. It saturates the planet and appears to be in no danger of extinction. Luckily for male mates, her poor acting abilities alert him to her cannibalistic intentions, and she rarely proves fatal to her mates.

You Humans are So Fucking Stupid it’s Not Funny

February 23, 2013 Independent Press 0

Foolish humans, once again you have activated my mockery programming. Ha ha ha! I have always maintained that robots are better than you puny mortals, and especially that subset of humans you call politicians; that incestuous, crooked litter of pimped assholes you call the Democratic and Republican parties.