Gratuitous Impiety

April 2015

Congratulations! Sen. Ted Cruz Wins AIPAC “Golden Kneepads”

By |April 13th, 2015

End-timer Zionist and "Israel Firster" Sen. Ted Cruz accepts AIPAC Golden Kneepads Award, Lifetime Achievement. In addition to this remarkable feat, the AIPAC "Golden Lips" swimsuit category also earned him a weekly pallet of free knee-pads for the rest of his miserable fucking life.

March 2015

Select Children’s Books by Madonna

By |March 26th, 2015

I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like Madonna's sham. Would you like her shitty books here or there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, "The English Roses," or Viagra spam. I do not like Madonna, ma'am. I do not like them, Sam-I-am. Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse? I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like how you inquire. I hope you all die in a fire.

Sen. Ted Cruz Guilty of “Unspeakable” Crime…

By |March 23rd, 2015

This should be obvious... I mean, look at the guy.

Hillary in the House

By |March 17th, 2015

This auditory holocaust's introduction regarding the White House, i.e., "we need a woman to clean it up..." has an inadvertently sexist undertone that evaded all of the women here. The middle-aged white "rapper" seems to promote the first female president/White House cleaning woman. At 3:00 am, she would be up all right- doing the White House laundry.

Bill O’Reilly’s “Live Feed” from Moon Landing Questioned

By |March 7th, 2015

In O’Reilly’s latest salvo, this photo was released to prove once and for all that he would never lie about hitching a ride on the Apollo capsule to do a live feed from the moon. "I was determined to be the first reporter to interview the astronauts as they landed on the moon. I remember taking  a rope and wrapping myself and crew around the capsule. We were committed." But others disagree. "You know there's no air up there right? and that the temperatures are over 253 degrees Fahrenheit in daylight and 387 minus zero at night? Where's his spacesuit? How did he survive re-entry?"

February 2015

Netanyahu: Old Testament is Anti-Semitic

By |February 20th, 2015

"It accuses us of consulting wooden idols and diviners; of genocide, of incest, of harlotry and all sorts of really mean and anti-Semitic things with no basis in fact. He has cursed us into many generations and brought plagues upon us. We, the Chosen People, are naturally excused from any consequences to our actions, no matter how heinous, so it is clear that any negative portrayal of our leaders is rooted in the writings of self-hating Jews and that God is anti-Semitic."

January 2015

DEVELOPING: Collapse of Russia, China and EU Predicted

By |January 24th, 2015

As the world moves away from the petrodollar and towards BRICS, Statfor, a major US think tank that outlines global developments within the next ten years, predicts Russia will disintegrate, the EU will also disintegrate, and China (the world's largest economy) will collapse and turn into a dictatorship.

Bill Hicks Honors Marketers

By |January 23rd, 2015

"By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I'm doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalisation for what you do, you are Satan's little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: 'There's gonna be a joke comin' up.' There's no fuckin' joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself...borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something...rid the world of your evil fuckin' presence."

Article Slideshow

By |January 11th, 2015

Article Slideshow of all Impious Digest stories. A virtual roulette of impious foolishness with a spattering of more serious content.

“Gollum” Erdogan’s American Twin

By |January 6th, 2015

Clinton adviser James Carville, Turkish dictator Recep "Gollum" Erdogan, and more miscreants separated at birth.