Gratuitous Impiety

Dem Operatives Mull Plan to “Frag” Hillary Before Elections

By |March 14th, 2018

At the same time, one thing remained clear to some supporters of the former Democratic nominee. “I think the party has moved on from Hillary Clinton,” the former senior Clinton aide said.

Tracy Morgan Punks Us All: “I am Joy Reid, y’all! That kind of stupid is comedy genius!”

By |March 2nd, 2018

In Brief

Lindsey Graham Really Loves That Dick

By |January 16th, 2018

Dick Durban, that is.

In Brief: American Cult Association Distances Itself from DNC, Hillary

By |November 13th, 2017

The American Cult Association issued a statement today declaring Donna Brazile's comparison of the DNC to a "cult" demeaned the term and demanded a retraction.

Rachel Maddow Wows with New Haircut

By |November 7th, 2017

Sexy! [UPDATE: It has been alleged that this is Chris Hayes, not Rachel Maddow. Wrong! We stand by our assertion that is indeed Maddow because Maddow looks like Buddy Holly.]

Battered Pundit Joy Reid Posts Hillary’s Bail After Lover’s Quarrel

By |November 3rd, 2017

Battered Pundit Syndrome often results when the abuse and scandalous, criminal behavior of a politician causes pundits to publicly humiliate themselves when defending or endorsing them. As their credibility is destroyed, the emotional battering and cognitive dissonance becomes impossible to bear. Sometimes, in extreme cases, the politician will go the extra mile to personally beat the shit out of them too.

In Brief: Hillary Opens Campaign Office at Las Vegas Hospital

By |October 3rd, 2017

Before any of the bodies have even been buried, Hillary Clinton opened her 2020 campaign office in a Las Vegas hospital "to be accessible to family members for comfort, and to be responsive to their concerns about the first woman president, how I was cheated, reproductive rights, and how I am doing after my devastating loss to Donald Trump."

Green Bay Packers Invite Fans to Interlock Arms During Anthem, Honor Rockettes Instead

By |September 29th, 2017

Breaking: The Green Bay Packers invited fans to join them in interlocking their arms during the national anthem as a show of solidarity with the football team, and Broadway. Already gearing up for a potential Superbowl half-time performance, the Packers were not concerned about audience disapproval, it seems, and have been training with the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes in NYC.

Hillary’s Garden Hose Nervously Waiting to Be Blamed For Election Loss

By |September 22nd, 2017

It's coming. You know it, I know it, her garden hose knows it.

Sleepless Jeff Bezos Still Has Millions of “What Happened” 1 Star Reviews to Delete

By |September 15th, 2017

A sleepless Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, distraught over the poor reception of Hillary Clinton's latest book, has gone six days without batting an eye in a desperate effort to delete millions of one star reviews of Clinton's latest book What Happened. He is also in a lot of pain from the carpel tunnel syndrome he has from repeatedly hitting the delete key hundreds of thousands of times.