Celebrate the upcoming release of The Predator with delicious cookies to blow your friends away.
The Children’s Crusade didn’t end well. And it won’t end well this time, either. The script is simple. The network is promulgating a demagogue and crisis actor as we can see in this video shot by a schoolmate regarding his 26 year-old debate partner from California who lied about being at the shooting.
“I will challenge you, President Trump, to take an I Koo [sic] test, and we’ll see who is smarter than who!” Waters wrote in a letter to the White House. “Impeech 45! (sic)
Sexy! [UPDATE: It has been alleged that this is Chris Hayes, not Rachel Maddow. Wrong! We stand by our assertion that is indeed Maddow because Maddow looks like Buddy Holly.]
Breaking: The Green Bay Packers invited fans to join them in interlocking their arms during the national anthem as a show of solidarity with the football team, and Broadway. Already gearing up for a potential Superbowl half-time performance, the Packers were not concerned about audience disapproval, it seems, and have been training with the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes in NYC.
It’s coming. You know it, I know it, her garden hose knows it.
The Nobel Prize committee has just announced a new nominee in the science department. Geneticist Dr. Hung Lo of MIT has not only discovered a way to remove and repair defective genes responsible for cancer and a host of many incurable diseases, the brilliant young scientist has also discovered a means to locate and repair the gene mutation responsible for CNN reporters. “Gone are the days when couples held back on having children because they feared severe birth defects, terminal post-natal diseases, or the possibility that their child might be morally and intellectually deformed enough to work at CNN.”
“This is a sex cult masquerading as a political movement. The idol, as in phallocentric cults and religions of long ago, is not the penis but the vagina. In this cult, the underlying belief system cynically objectifies women by focusing not on their status as the mothers of all men and women, as life-giving and wise leaders, but merely as political tools to be celebrated and feared because their genitals are different than that of men. Males are the evil patriarchs, but ironically, also the hidden hand of this so-called liberation movement.”
Local man Haywood Tapper, 34, excitedly told reporters today that he just can’t wait to tell his friends and family about what he learned from listening to pundits overnight. “I am just so glad there’s much smarter people out there who can do my thinking for me, people to tell me what I should worry about because honestly, I shouldn’t have that right in a world this complex. I know, thanks to these beneficent fellows, that I need to be afraid of Russians and that Putin is a bad, bad man. From all the time they spend on it I think it’s more important than jobs, the economy, health care, even my life.”
Political herpes Hillary Clinton is a gift that keeps on giving, and she’s flaring up again in time to lose again in 2020.