After a withering attack for eating a burrito without their consent, Donald Trump ordered a giant 6 foot burrito and appointed it Secretary of Go Fuck Yourself CNN. "He's appropriating a cultural heritage," cried CNN's Don Lemon as his panel nodded grimly. "It's dangerous and likely to exacerbate racial tensions." Never one to shy away from controversy, PEOTUS Donald Trump immediately got himself a taco bowl, and washed the meal down with a vintage 2016 bottle of Rachel Maddow's election night tears.
By Independent Press|November 29th, 20162016-12-20T12:59:26+00:00
Avert your eyes, my friends, beware a brilliance blinding to the naked eye. Few have ever been so ridiculously wrong, so many times, and still managed to keep their jobs and dignity without at least a self-immolation or two.
By Independent Press|November 28th, 20162017-01-03T13:14:19+00:00
Leaked FBI 9/11 Evidence Against Bush, Clinton, Blair and Netanyahu Too Staggering to Ignore. If a picture is worth a thousand words, here's some culled from thousands implicating them all, Saudis included.
By Independent Press|November 26th, 20162016-12-18T23:57:48+00:00
Here's an interesting experiment: bend your arm, palm facing outwards. Beat the back of your hand against your chest repeatedly as you jerk your head back and forth. This is what you look like when you quote Snopes as an authority. Here they are, in fact, the geniuses behind Snopes "fact checking" scam.
By Independent Press|November 22nd, 20162017-01-15T08:54:33+00:00
Because 59 witnesses would have to conspire to present the same consistent account, the most ridiculous and obvious conspiracy theory of all is coming from the Lone Gunman Conspiracy Theorists.
By Independent Press|November 17th, 20162016-11-21T08:59:42+00:00
The attack on news sites with alternative viewpoints constitutes an attack on free speech. We know for a fact Google's Eric Schmidt was working with the Clinton campaign. We do know that the targeted "fake news" is largely conservative. A class-action lawsuit by aggrieved parties targeting the Google monopoly and attack on free speech may be appropriate here, and it will stick.
By Independent Press|November 17th, 20162016-12-13T20:14:35+00:00
So millions of white, black, Latino, Asian, male, and female Obama voters from 2012 simply didn't vote this year. They are as much to "blame" for Hillary's loss as the media generated stereotype of the racist, ignorant white mid-west male, but they can't rightfully be blamed at all. Had she gotten Obama's numbers, it would have been a slaughter, but then again, it's Hillary. You can't shame people into liking a turd, and fuck you very much for trying, Jeff Zucker.
By Independent Press|November 15th, 20162017-01-03T13:14:36+00:00
ISIS “Micro-aggression” Catches Radditz by Surprise. At the Trump and Clinton debate on October 19th, 2016, ABC’s Martha Radditz proposed a new Allepo strategy. She actually began to debate Trump on Hillary’s behalf to show off her prowess in war games and military history or as some wag noted “to run for president herself.” She argued it’s sometimes a good idea to telegraph intended targets weeks ahead against basic military doctrine (never strike without the element of surprise). The Pentagon was so impressed with this unconventional brilliance they made her a general and put her in charge of fighting ISIS.