Don’t Even Think About It

May 11, 2014 Independent Press 0

"…We shall put them [state posts] in the hands of persons whose past and reputation are such that between them and the people lies an abyss, persons who, in case of disobedience to our instructions, must face criminal charges or disappear — this in order to make them defend our interests to their last gasp."

Separated at Birth

October 5, 2013 Independent Press 0

Earlier today it was reported there was a study that Barack Obama and Brad Pitt were cousins, and that Angelina Jolie and Hillary Clinton were distantly related also. Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, according to the genealogist with enough spare time on his hand to come up with the findings.

Why Kissinger Backed Hillary

March 24, 2013 Independent Press 0

Why would Henry Kissinger endorse Hillary? was it because she was the only candidate for the job who made diplomacy under sniper fire a testament to girl power? oh wait. There was no sniper fire! and there was no blow to the feminist movement that once looked up to her! So I don’t understand why she would be offered the position. Maybe her blunders make her uniquely qualified for the job. Or maybe Obama wants her inside the tent, pissing out, rather than outside the tent, pissing in.

RFK Eulogy by Ted Kennedy, 1968

March 20, 2013 Independent Press 0

At a time when Sen. Ted Kennedy had just been diagnosed with brain cancer, and Hillary's attempt to win his endorsement failed, she brings up the memory of the Robert F. Kennedy assassination in June of 1968. She is implying, in a thinly veiled threat, that she should stay in the race because Obama might be assassinated as well.

Hillary Didn’t Lie About Tuzla!

March 17, 2013 Independent Press 0

With new evidence supporting her assertions of bravery under sniper fire, we humbly retract the last story regarding Hillary’s Tuzla adventures. We remain forever shamed that we ever questioned Hillary’s heroism, and offer our most sincere apologies to the Clinton camp.

A National Plan to Fight Cankles

March 16, 2013 Independent Press 0

“Like you and many Americans, I have cankles- unsightly calves that go straight into my ankles…Yet, you are proof that a woman horribly afflicted with cankles can be sexy even outside the fetish fringes. What is your secret? Are you some mysterious enchantress? What spell have you cast on us? and what is your national plan to combat the growing threat of cankles in America?”

Why Planted Questions Matter

March 13, 2013 Independent Press 0

Why it matters: planted questions deny your right to question candidates asking for your vote. It’s like trying to buy a car, and the dealer telling you only certain questions may be asked of him if you wish to make a purchase. You can’t ask the final price, you can’t ask about fuel economy, you can’t ask about reliability, or about any particulars of the car’s engine or maker because the dealer has arrogantly assumed you have no choice.

Why Murdoch Really Loves Hillary

March 5, 2013 Independent Press 0

Murdoch knows she is a straw candidate, and straw burns easily. After the primaries, he will support the Republican presidential candidate just as he always has, with the usual rabid devotion. He hasn’t done the Democrats any favors, he’s pushing the candidate that he knows his party can easily beat.