Politics

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January 2017

John Lewis is Not MLK, Fought Voting Rights of Poor in 2016

By |January 16th, 2017

MLK fought for voting rights. John Lewis fought against the voting rights of those who voted in the primaries. In 2016, in Puerto Rico and elsewhere, he supported a candidate that shut down polling stations to make it harder for people sympathetic to Bernie to vote. He supported a candidate that demonstrably, with supporting video evidence, physical evidence and witnesses, corrupted the DNC so even they had to admit the primaries were rigged to favor Hillary. He went against the voting rights of blacks and whites alike, for personal ambition. It doesn't matter what he was, or what Bernie once was, it is what happened in 2016, and it won't be forgotten.

Profile in Courage: Local Man Talks Shit About Trump in Liberal Enclave

By |January 15th, 2017

Dick Smegma, 26, took a courageous stand today by siding with the majority opinion in a deep blue state where everybody hates Trump."I'm no hero," Smegma said humbly to a crowd of cheering Hillary supporters as they burned Trump in effigy. "But sometimes you have to be brave enough to dispense with the courage of your convictions, and side with whatever is popular with the crowd."At press time, Mr. Smega was last seen in a Trump rally talking all manner of shit about Clinton.

Wikileaks: Mexican Drug Kingpin, El Chapo, Donated 15M to Clinton Foundation

By |January 13th, 2017

The Times: Julian Assange launched an attack on the integrity of the Clinton Foundation with the latest intelligence report that says the organization had ties with Mexican drug cartel leader, Joaquín ‘El Chapo’ Guzmán.Guzman, widely known as ‘El Chapo’, has an estimated net worth of $2 billion USD. He is currently incarcerated in a high-security Mexican prison and is in the process of being extradited to the United States.

MTV’s “Dear White Guy” Taken to an Extreme in Chicago

By |January 10th, 2017

Chicago police said Wednesday night that four teens are being held and questioned in connection with a Facebook Live video showing a group of people beating and cutting a special needs teen who appeared bound and gagged as they shouted “F--- Donald Trump.”Chicago Police Supt. Eddie Johnson called the video a "brutal act" that was "broadcast for the entire world to see." As of January 9, 2017, all attackers are over 18, presently held without bail and charged with a hate crime.

BREAKING: Hillary Runs for President of Own Fan Club, Manages to Lose by Landslide

By |January 7th, 2017

"People hate me!"

Spy Agencies Reveal State Entity Who Most Influenced Trump’s Win

By |January 3rd, 2017

"It was this moron," said Director of National Intelligence Haywood Jablowme as he pointed to a slide of Hillary Clinton at a press conference earlier today. "That is the key state entity most responsible for influencing the election to favor President Trump. Putin didn't tell her to run while under an FBI criminal investigation, or to call half of America irredeemables, deplorables, racists, sexists... The media narrative is that if only people didn't know she was so corrupt and inept, she would have won. It's as asinine as saying that if only people didn't know the water was poisoned, we would have taken a drink and died, acting as if this was the logical desired outcome. So the impartial watchdogs who warned us of a clear and present danger are to be condemned? Fuck you."

“Putin dropped me repeatedly at birth,” Hacked DNC Emails with “Axe”

By |January 2nd, 2017

Political herpes Hillary Clinton, a crippling national embarrassment that just won't go away, flared up again today as she finally came to terms with her intellectual deficits and leadership disasters by acknowledging they did exist and were a problem, but that Russian leader Vladimir Putin was responsible for her affliction.She chimed in again today to attack Russia with unsubstantiated hacker claims, adding that if she sounds a trifle less astute in the geopolitical arena than John Kerry, Russian FM Sergei Lagrov, or most mammals in general, it is because Putin used a time machine to travel back to 1869 and drop her repeatedly at birth."This nefarious Russian conspiracy was designed to undermine my presidential campaign, and Putin has been caught red-handed as we know for a fact he owns a DeLorean like the one in Back to the Future."

December 2016

Bernie Lost His Street Cred

By |December 30th, 2016

The only people that actually believe the Russians hacked our election are the same geniuses that spray their laptops with Lysol so they won't get a virus. And here they are, in high office, taking the word of a butt hurt sore loser that unleashed a string of lies blaming her election loss on the Bernie Bros, racists, xenophobes, Alex Jones, James Comey, Obama, a biased pro-Trump media, Facebook, fake news, and now Putin. If you're over 10 and cannot see the pattern of unending falsehood consistent with a pathological liar who not only insults your intelligence but flings it down and stomps upon it, please limit your grandiloquent opining to the kiddie table, this is grown-up talk.

Former CIA Spy Has A Christmas Message For Trump

By |December 24th, 2016

The media purveys fake news. Between now and Inauguration Day you should ask Mike Flynn, your National Security Advisor, to sit down with Kellyanne Conway, Brad Parscale (Giles-Parscale), Andrew Garfield (Glevum Associates), and me, to discuss the repurposing of the White House floor space and resources now wasted on the fake news press.

Trump To Move 370 Elite Troops From Russia To Protect His Life, Family

By |December 24th, 2016

Important to note about President-elect Trump’s American private security companies, this bulletin continues, is that XMark LLC specializes in the use of special forces troops, ASIT Consulting is one of the United States top experts on the importing of specialized weapons, and Ultra Electronics USSI has the reputation of being a global leader in the futuristic use of electronic and acoustic weapons—and when all combined under RBS Group leadership, presents one of the most formidable private mercenary armies the world has ever known.

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