STFU Ellen. Eating pussy never made anyone a hero, or I would be immortalized in marble, in every city. So what if I’m a man, you sexists! I’m still a hero if she is! Neither does dancing like an idiot make me a hero, which is my specialty. If they had a Dancing with the Stars That Are Not Stars That Dance Like Fucking Idiots, I would have a special. Fuck you and your shitty ass show and goofy dance. You have the moral authority of a masturbating chimp. Your biggest achievement will be that you’re remembered as the lady talk show host with the bad haircut prone to inducing grim visuals of you with a strap-on. Ew!
Out of respect for the POTUS the film, “I’m a Pretentious Hollywood Fuck Who Thinks My Movies Are a White House Priority and National Treasure” will not be screened at Tom Hanks’ home.
Says he kisses better, too.
Joy Behar, 75, of The View. Not cool, man.
Blind rabbi takes full blame, also admits he was drinking.
Frederica Wilson is an “empty barrel” according to Gen. John Kelly, but I beg to differ. Shit has mass.
This censorship system (dubbed the “Iron Curtain”) being imposed upon the American people, this report concludes, backfired on the Soviets and became a major factor in eroding the Communist Party’s control—a fact not noticed by some hysterical Hillary Clinton supporting lawmakers in the US Congress who, just 3 days ago, demanded that a Washington D.C. radio station (105.5 FM) broadcasting Radio Sputnik’s programming be shut down because it “influenced the election”—a claim that defies all laws of space and time as this station didn’t start carrying Radio Sputnik until 1 July of this year, fully 9 months AFTER President Trump was elected.
The United Nations Security Council has introduced a new means to ensure, at long last, world peace. “They are like UN non-binding resolutions, only more bad ass. No self-respecting nation wants to wake up to a depressing number of likes due to war crimes.”
“Here’s the deal. I believe in my heart Bernie is a KNOWING chaos agent paid by Russia in 2016 election. This is my OWN conclusion.”