Kathy Griffin Will Be Broken Again

June 18, 2018 Independent Press 0

One of President Trump’s best selling books, Think Big And Kick Ass, actually has a chapter on revenge. According to President Trump, it is an essential success strategy that warns others not to cross you. Griffin, in attacking Trump and threatening to go after his son Baron, as well, clearly has  a fondness for suicide missions. Now she has gone after his wife, Melania, in a similar fashion as Samantha Bee, who also went after family by calling Ivanka Trump a “feckless cunt” and suggesting she seduce her father to change his stance on immigration. Even the mafia frowns on going after family, but since she is going there, one can only wonder how Trump will exact revenge, and how Griffin will be broken this time.

Rachel Maddow’s Bell’s Palsy Will Worsen With Each Lie

March 21, 2018 Independent Press 0

It is worsening the more she lies. Why, you would think trying to push America into World War III would warrant a supernatural response from an opposing spiritual force. It’s like someone put a curse  on her! It’s like a prophet, an Elijah type, redirected the harm she intended for others and let it eat her away in proportion to the malice she metes out on millions of people she doesn’t even know, people that never harmed her. Some might call it a curse, but it is really a mirror deflection of harmful psychic, or quantum, energy.

DHS Architects Study Lisa Page’s Gums for New Wall Design

January 25, 2018 Independent Press 0

Disgraced FBI deep state operative Lisa Page withstood hours of intense questioning yesterday from Department of Homeland Security officials. At this point, however, the questioning seems limited to the study of her massive gums and their potential application as a formidable new border wall design impervious to drug cartels and smugglers. More on this breaking story as it develops.

Turkish Invasion Accelerates U.S. Military Training of Border Security Forces in Syria

January 23, 2018 Sophie Mangal 0

Washington realizes that Ankara is getting out of control and a robust military fist along the borderline will only assist Erdogan. U.S. support for the SDF has put enormous strain on ties with NATO ally Turkey, which views the YPG as an extension of the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) – a group that has waged a three-decade insurgency in Turkey and is considered a terrorist group by the European Union, Turkey, and the United States.

I Eat Pussy Too! Where’s My Presidential Medal of Freedom?

January 5, 2018 Independent Press 0

STFU Ellen. Eating pussy never made anyone a hero, or I would be immortalized in marble, in every city. So what if I’m a man, you sexists! I’m still a hero if she is! Neither does dancing like an idiot make me a hero, which is my specialty. If they had a Dancing with the Stars That Are Not Stars That Dance Like Fucking Idiots, I would have a special. Fuck you and your shitty ass show and goofy dance. You have the moral authority of a masturbating chimp. Your biggest achievement will be that you’re remembered as the lady talk show host with the bad haircut prone to inducing grim visuals of you with a strap-on. Ew!