In Brief

Rachel Maddow’s Bell’s Palsy Will Worsen With Each Lie

It is worsening the more she lies. Why, you would think trying to push America into World War III would warrant a supernatural response from an opposing spiritual force. It's like someone put a curse  on her! It's like a prophet, an Elijah type, redirected the harm she intended for others and let it eat her away in proportion to the malice she metes out on millions of people she doesn't even know, people that never harmed her. Some might call it a curse, but it is really a mirror deflection of harmful psychic, or quantum, energy.

By |March 21st, 2018|Categories: gypsy curse, In Brief|Tags: , , , |

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Tracy Morgan: “I am Joy Reid, y’all! That kind of stupid is comedy genius!”

In Brief

How I Love Maria Bartiromo, Let Me Count the Ways

1. The way she kicks spirit cooking weirdo John Molesta in the vagina when he tries to intimidate and belittle her.

By |February 18th, 2018|Categories: In Brief||

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DHS Architects Study Lisa Page’s Gums for New Wall Design

Disgraced FBI deep state operative Lisa Page withstood hours of intense questioning yesterday from Department of Homeland Security officials. At this point, however, the questioning seems limited to the study of her massive gums and their potential application as a formidable new border wall design impervious to drug cartels and smugglers. More on this breaking story as it develops.

By |January 25th, 2018|Categories: FBI, In Brief||

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Turkish Invasion Accelerates U.S. Military Training of Border Security Forces in Syria

Washington realizes that Ankara is getting out of control and a robust military fist along the borderline will only assist Erdogan. U.S. support for the SDF has put enormous strain on ties with NATO ally Turkey, which views the YPG as an extension of the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) - a group that has waged a three-decade insurgency in Turkey and is considered a terrorist group by the European Union, Turkey, and the United States.

Local Man Dreams of Being Famous Enough to Have Porn Star Brag About Boning Him

Mac Summer, 39, admitted to co-workers today that his greatest dream was to someday be so famous that porn stars will only remember him as the most memorable fuck they ever had. "I don't care if they say I'm hung like a gnat and cum in two seconds, the very fact they have to boost their ego by saying they boned me would be the ultimate compliment."

By |January 19th, 2018|Categories: In Brief, sticky||

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Disgraceful, Awful Man Misleads Viewers, As Does Adam Schiff

Awful, awful man misleads viewers once again, and so does Adam Schiff.

By |January 19th, 2018|Categories: Fake News, In Brief, Video||

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I Eat Pussy Too! Where’s My Presidential Medal of Freedom?

STFU Ellen. Eating pussy never made anyone a hero, or I would be immortalized in marble, in every city. So what if I'm a man, you sexists! I'm still a hero if she is! Neither does dancing like an idiot make me a hero, which is my specialty. If they had a Dancing with the Stars That Are Not Stars That Dance Like Fucking Idiots, I would have a special. Fuck you and your shitty ass show and goofy dance. You have the moral authority of a masturbating chimp. Your biggest achievement will be that you're remembered as the lady talk show host with the bad haircut prone to inducing grim visuals of you with a strap-on. Ew!

By |January 5th, 2018|Categories: In Brief||

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The Impious Digest Will Not Screen New Movie at Tom Hanks’ Home

Out of respect for the POTUS the film, "I'm a Pretentious Hollywood Fuck Who Thinks My Movies Are a White House Priority and National Treasure" will not be screened at Tom Hanks' home.

By |December 21st, 2017|Categories: Entertainment, In Brief|Tags: |

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Hillary Clinton Praises Al Franken for Admitting to Sexual Assault, Says He’s Better Than Moore, Trump

Says he kisses better, too.

By |November 18th, 2017|Categories: Hillary Clinton, In Brief||

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