bill-oreills-moon-feed

Declaring an all-out war on critics questioning his journalistic ethics and credentials, FOX News host Bill O’Reilly promised to hit them with “everything he’s got” and continues to enjoy the staunch support of FOX News executives. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. In 2004 FOX News shelled out an estimated 60 million dollars or so in a settlement when Andrea Mackris sued him for sexual harassment; for calling her and masturbating on the phone, pressuring her to buy a vibrator as he had one also and wanted to share the experience, etc. The court documents in the link are both sad and hilarious. Sad because it was repugnant behavior, hilarious because he really believed he was turning her on.

In O’Reilly’s latest salvo, this photo was released to prove once and for all that he would never lie about hitching a ride on the Apollo capsule to do a live feed from the moon.

“I was determined to be the first reporter to interview the astronauts as they landed on the moon. I remember taking  a rope and wrapping myself and crew around the capsule. We were committed.”

OREILLY-LIES

Hey! I almost missed that.

Unfortunately, astronauts present at the time do not recall O’Reilly ever being there and one noted:

“Bill committed? No, but he should have been committed… You know there’s no air up there right? and that the temperatures are over 253 degrees Fahrenheit in daylight and 387 minus zero at night? Where’s his spacesuit? How did he survive re-entry?”

Spacesuits are for pussies. Sure it was a little warm in daylight, and I have to admit holding my breath for several days was a challenge for me, but we did it.

Harry A. Ness, a spokesman for NASA, also questioned the veracity of the account. In a pithy and eloquent reply to our query, he shook his head and responded “Fuck that guy. He is dogshit wrapped in skin.”

O’Reilly scoffed at the notion he or his crew needed spacesuits.

“Spacesuits are for pussies. Sure it was a little warm in daylight, and I have to admit holding my breath for several days was a challenge for me, but we did it. We got that exclusive interview and although I don’t have copies of it now, I can have my secretary send them to you next week.”

When questioned further, O’Reilly inaccurately denounced the astronaut as a “far-left pinhead liberal” with an agenda, then launched into a 130 minute tirade on a liberal conspiracy to “take down FOX News” and silence the voice of conservatives in America, many of whom, ironically, want nothing more than to see the race-baiting, self-serving elitist sycophant off the air as well.

At least three stories discrediting his accounts of bravery and professionalism have surfaced in the last two weeks, including an account of speaking to a dead witness in the JFK assassination, weathering a storm of bullets in the Falkland Islands War and saving a colleagues life, witnessing the murder of nuns in El Salvador, and surviving a “rain of concrete” from an angry resident in the LA Riots.

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