19th Century Romantic Gangsta Poetry

Coming Soon:

Will the Real Lord Byron Please

Stand Up?

With a brilliant new movie out, “Bright Star”, Jane Campion’s vision of the tragic love story of poet John Keats and Fanny Brawnne, I wondered of their love had it taken place today. Would his poetry be published?

Would our callous world recognize his genius?

And most importantly, have you ever wondered what 19th century Romantic poets like Lord Byron and John Keats would write like if they were gangsta rap stars? Admit it, we all have, so look no further…

We took an actual love letter from Keats to Fanny Brawne, and added a dash of gangsta and a hint of vomitus to proudly present to you John Keat’s “Ode to Fanny Brawne”

…as read by Sir Yangil Kim,with a special appearance by rapper Lil’ Kim.


“Ode to Fanny Brawne”

My sweet Fanny…

there’s no limit to my love now

I’ve been astonished Men

could die Martyrs for religion

I’ve shuddered at it – but now

I could be martyred for my Religion

for Love is my religion

I could die for you, I’m astonished no more

yes, I’d die for that booty,

my sweet gangsta bitch ho

My Creed is Love

and you are its only tenet

You have ravished me away

by a Power I cannot withstand

and yet I could resistKeats_shot

I could deny ’til I saw you

a smoking Uzi in your hand

shot thrice was I, in deathly pallor

when wounded, I pulled up to thee

Glock 9 firing from my Impala

and I have endeavored often

to reason against the reasons of my Love.

the pain’s too great

to bear anymore

this I ponder morosely

spillin’ change on the floor

as I’m emptyin’ registers

at the hood’s liquor store

Cos ho, you did a drive-by shooting on my heart,

you bust a cap into my mind

I cannot sleep, to life I’m blind

I cannot rest, each aching minute cruel, unkind

until my dear, Love martyrs me

until I tap that sweet behind.

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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